Some days are days that make your heart sing. Some days are days that lead to weeping. And some days are a strange combination of the two.
Today was one of those days: floating in the strange world between utter devastation and complete, amazing, blessedness, events rolled on and over one another. Here, at the end of the day, I am left standing, pondering events and wondering what is coming next.
Good things follow on bad and bad follow on good. Soon the two mix and mingle. Sorrow upon gladness, gladness melding into sorrow.
My husband is stressed and sorrowful from having to deal with issues with such extreme consequences for our family. For long months, long years, these events have come wave upon wave upon wave crashing over us, always there, always threatening, as never-ending as the waves of the sea. Today simply brought another wave, only this time, one with somewhat more immediate potential for disaster.
It breaks my heart tonight to see my oldest child reeling from today’s events (events that he had nothing to do with and yet have the power to change the immediate course of his, and our, life) and yet as I nearly dissolve into weeping for him (and, perhaps, for the rest of us, too), I am blessed with the laughter of little children that is filtering in from the other room; precious little children, failing to grasp the severity of life, who still sweetly know joy unbounded. Joy all of God’s children ought to know if they are resting in Him.
Tonight is a night of questions and fear: what will tomorrow bring and, after endless sorrows, will we have the spiritual, emotional and financial reserves to meet it?
Tonight is also a time of rejoicing and trust: no matter what tomorrow brings, my Lord is worthy and this I will rest in.
It is for this cause that, tonight, I can lay down in peace and sleep. God is awake and watching over all. In Him I will trust, to Him I will offer my praise.
Soli Deo gloria!