Busily waiting: the act of busying oneself with needful and important tasks while waiting for something, anything, to happen so that you might know how, and when, to move forward.
Okay, that’s only my definition and it’s probably applicable only to this point in my life but, for now, it fits what I’m doing and how I’m feeling.
- deep cleaning
- searching for a room for my husband in the new city
- trying to make money in order that we might all be with him in the new city
- being a wife
- being Mommy (or Mama to the older ones)
- being tired
- for some answers
- for other answers
- for knowledge of what is next
- for some idea about what to do about…whichever difficulty is on my “radar” at the moment
I get tired just looking at everything that has to be accomplished over the next few months. This isn’t an ordinary move; I’ve done those so many, many times and I know the ropes. This is a move that kind of took us by surprise. In one moment last Thursday our whole reality changed. We’re trying to adjust to it and everything that it means. And trying to do so with no contacts (in the area where we are going–which means no one to turn to to try to find hubby a room), very little money to accomplish it all (the unemployment he’s been receiving isn’t very much) and, I don’t know, maybe just a little bit of self-pitying (forgive me, Father).
When I’m tired, when I’m overwhelmed, when I have the tendency to think “Poor us” it is then that I run away. That might consist of my laying across my bed, soaking in my tub, sitting outside and listening to the birds or even washing dishes…just so I find Him. The important thing isn’t where, it is Who: with the Lord is where I want to be.
When life is overly busy, when the problems we face have many questions and few answers, when those I turn to for information either ignore me or turn me away, when I have no idea what to do next, God is the One I turn to. Unlike people, He will never let me down. He knows the way when I do not, He knows where and how my husband will get a room and get down to his job, He knows when and how we will follow and a thousand other things. He knows it all because He planned it all: for our good, for His glory. If God saw fit to give my husband a job, He will see to it that he, and eventually all of us, can get down there at the right time and He will do it all to His glory. All for His glory. Just remembering that calms me down and gives me the peace I need to face these busy days of waiting.
Psalms 32: 7, “Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.”