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I stand before the Cross

and I profess a love for this Man,

this One, Who has taken my place…

and I turn away…

and I go shopping and I buy a bikini…

I can justify it because it is so cute on me and anyway…

if a guy looks at me to lust,

it is all his fault for not controlling himself…

and not my fault at all.

I go to church and I worship this holy God…

and I turn away…

and I go home and I turn on the television…

and I watch…

and as I do I fill my mind, my heart,

my eyes with things that I would be ashamed to watch…

if Jesus were here…

but, He isn’t…

and I justify it, because it is a good show…

and, after all, God is a God of love and

He just wants me to be happy.

I kneel before my God and I pray…

Thy will be done…

and I get up…

and I go about doing my will…

with everyone that I meet…

in everything that I do…

not for a moment thinking…

that I am sinning.

I open up my Bible and

I read about the wonders of God…

and my heart rejoices…

I read of His love, His mercy,

His tenderness…

sometimes,

I come to passage that shows more than that…

and it makes me nervous,

uncomfortable…

but, I turn the page…

and I read more about

how very much God loves me,

and I read into it how much

He longs for me to respond to Him,

and I think how cool it is that

this God of the whole universe needs me…

me…

and I determine to try to find something

really nice to do for Him…

sometimes.

I reach out to my God in my need…

and I can’t find Him…

and I ask Him, “Where are You?”

but, He doesn’t answer me…

and, I don’t understand His silence…

I run towards where He was

but find only darkness …

I seek Him out and I ask,

“Why have You abandoned me?”

“Where are You, God?”, I plead…

and it’s then that I realize…

that I am alone…

and He doesn’t seem to hear me…

at all.

And, in the echoing silence,

suddenly I hear

a still small voice,

saying,

“If you love Me, you will obey Me.”

And I fall on my face…

and I weep.

 

 


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