Do The Next Thing (quoted by Elisabeth Elliot in The Shaping of a Christian Family)

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

A Hard Question

“So what is the difference between someone who willfully indulges in sexual pleasures while ignoring the Bible on moral purity and someone who willfully indulges in the selfish pursuit of more and more material possessions while ignoring the Bible on caring for the poor?  The difference is that one involves a social taboo in the church and the other involves the social norm in the church.”

- David Platt

Mother by Betsy Markman

God, I am so unworthy.
Who am I that you have entrusted me with these lives?
Eternal souls.
Eternal.
Souls.
How can such a sinful heart as mine
Lead other sinful hearts to You?
How can one so weak, so flawed
Hold in her hands three growing heirs of Heaven
Or Hell,
Three temporary shells of
Eternity encapsulated?
Who is equal to these things?
Not I, Lord. Not I.
God, my heart breaks.
I’ve failed, oh how I’ve failed!
And time is racing against me,
Always against me
Inexorable foe
Which has already defeated every mighty one who has gone before,
And I can only cast myself at Your feet and cry
“God, have mercy on me, a sinner
A mother.”
And the mercy for which I plead
Is for them, Lord, for them.
I cannot be what they need me to be.
The best I have to offer them
Is only dust and ashes
For that is what I am,
And it is what I will someday be again.
Help me, God,
For what I want to give them is You.
You, Lord of Forever, shining through me.
Priceless treasure in an earthen vessel,
Heaven’s greatest glory
Hidden under a bushel-basket of sinful self.
Oh God, You have wounded me
With love,
You have crushed me
With mercy.
Now please do whatever you must
To break even more
Until You shine through triumphantly
And I cast no dark shadow across the face of Your glory.
Open their eyes
To see Your blazing beauty
And not the sin which tries to hide You.
Use me to show them Yourself
No matter what it may cost me
For I believe in You
And I know
You are worth it all.
To love You in this way
Is what it means to be a bride
And a daughter.
To love them in this way
Is what it means to be
A mother.

http://justanotherclaypot.blogspot.com/

Prayers of an Emotionally Abused Woman by Cheryl Williams

She prays for sweet freedom every day.

When he hurls stones,

 she deflects them with silence.

When he soaks her in his poison,

she prays it will not seep into her soul…

for she knows she is better than this.

She gives until she is spent.

She loves until she is depleted.

She used to sing like an angel,

but her voice has been stilled.

She used to laugh with abandon,

but she is scared to feel joy,

for it is so very fleeting.

She cringes at the sound of his coming.

Tears fill her eyes,

for she knows that no matter how she tries,

she will not be good enough

or pretty enough

or smart enough

for the one who thinks he is perfect.

She puts up her invisible wall,

and he wonders why.

She cries rivers of tears,

and he steps over them,

afraid of getting his feet wet.

Sometimes she prays

for his demise,

and at the same time

prays for her soul,

lost in wicked imaginings.

Sometimes she prays

to disappear.

Finally she would be free.

When a Woman is Abused

(Statistics tell us that approximately one in three women are abused at some point in their life. That means that if you yourself are not abused then surely you know someone who is.)

 

If a Christian woman is abused by her husband, whether the abuse is emotional, physical, spiritual or sexual, it isn’t because

she didn’t submit enough,

she hasn’t tried hard enough,

she didn’t love him enough,

she didn’t spend enough time in prayer for her husband

and for their marriage,

that she didn’t study the Word

or didn’t believe the Word

or didn’t try to obey the Word with everything within her.

If she gets to the point where she is thinking about separating from her husband, or even divorcing him, after many hours of prayer and many hours of Bible study and more tears than you could ever even begin to imagine, it doesn’t necessarily follow that

she never loved him,

she is a feminist,

that she wants to be separated or divorced,

that she doesn’t believe in biblical womanhood,

that she didn’t long for a traditional marriage,

that she didn’t try hard enough to be a good wife,

that she isn’t a good Christian.

If you should happen to meet a woman who has been abused, you will probably think that she is

distant,

cold,

self-involved,

shy.

Most likely this is because she is

shattered,

broken,

alone

and confused.

If you have never walked in her steps, if you’ve never heard the words designed to destroy you coming from the mouth of the one who swore before God and others that he would love you forever, if you’ve never been, literally and physically backed into a corner with absolutely no way out,  then you probably have absolutely no clue how

betrayed,

devastated,

shocked,

heart-broken

and hurt an abused woman feels.

If a woman has been beaten down, physically or emotionally, and she is brave enough to seek help,

go to her,

applaud her,

pray for her and with her,

and help her,

because, most likely, she has absolutely no idea what she is going to do next.

Her fear and confusion will be even more evident, more overwhelming, more devastating to her if she has children. Remember that and love her and love her children, also.

Comfort them,

pray for them,

listen to them,

do something kind for them,

let them know that someone cares

even if their daddy doesn’t.

Emotional abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse and sexual abuse of wives is real and far more common than most folks realize. It happens even in what others perceive to be “Christian” families. Even if the abuse is just aimed at the wife, the children will still be injured from the fallout. Frequently, though, it isn’t just fallout that hurts them; abusers of wives often go on to become abusers of children, too. Often abuse doesn’t stop with just words even if that is where it starts. If a man will break his wife with his words, many times, he will manifest force against her somehow, someway, sometime. It just might bleed out to the children, also.

Abuse isn’t the wife’s fault. It isn’t the children’s fault. No one deserves to be hurt like this.

If you know about a case of domestic abuse, consider that perhaps God has put you here with this family and has prepared you for such a time as this. If so, you have an obligation to

pray,

to love,

to be available to her as she tries to rebuild her life

and the lives of her children,

to listen

and listen again and again,

to cry with her,

to protect,

to defend,

to get her and her children to safety if need be

and to help her start over.

When it is over, when she has taken the step to protect her and her children that she never dreamed that she would ever have to take, remember that

she doesn’t need condemnation, she needs assurance that she is accepted and safe with you and in her church.

Keep in mind that…

her dreams are gone, help her to dream new ones;

her life is shattered, help her to build it again;

her children need love and guidance, see yourself as part of their healing;

she herself needs a friend, be one

and always, always pray for her and for her children.

Killing the Messenger

A Message to Churches: Abuse in the home is a subject near to my heart for many, very personal, reasons. I’m far too familiar with the subject in far too many ways to pretend it doesn’t need to be addressed. Abuse, in a number of ways, has invaded the lives of many family members, many friends. I was born into a family broken by abuse. I know what it does, what it can do. I understand, first hand, how it destroys the lives of those affected by it. I have no compassion, no patience, for abusers. Nor do I have compassion for those who would shelter them, deny the abuse is happening or choose to look the other way. That many, if not most folks, who have not known abuse first-hand would fear coming close to it, I can understand–though Christian compassion ought to cause us to overcome our fear and help the abused; I can’t, however, understand the determination to pretend it isn’t real or to come down hard on the one (usually a woman) who is abused. Abuse isn’t catching but it is real. Often, those who are living in abuse, have no idea what to do, no one to turn to and are desperately frightened. Often, it is at great personal cost that the abused comes forth with the truth. The harm that is done when church folks ignore her cries for help or for being believed that it is as bad as she says it is, is far, far greater than one who hasn’t faced it could ever know. If her husband finds out she has told, more often than not, she will pay for the telling. Some women pay with their lives. 

So, please, if a woman (or, at times, a man) comes to you or to your church (Pastors, please listen) with a shocking story of abuse by a man you believe to be good and upright, take time out of your day and listen to her, comfort her, offer her hope. If you don’t know how to advise her, find out. There are places where she can receive help, even if the abuse leveled against her is only emotional or verbal abuse (as if these aren’t real abuse); these are killing abuses just as much as physical abuse can be. The only difference is what part of a woman is killed: her heart or her body.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So often women who are abused by their husbands not only have to deal with abuse at home but, often, with neglect in their local churches. Since church folk often confuse being forgiven with being perfect, anything or anyone that isn’t “perfect” often tends to get pushed aside. Often that leaves those who are most in need of love and guidance alone and lonely as they try to make sense of the nightmarish life they are living.

Many Christians have an idea of the ideal marriage that is sadly based more on tradition than on Scripture (a falsehood which allows a man to treat his wife as a possession) and many wives don’t know enough or have enough support to fight against such a belief; this very fact sets many wives up for abuse. While Scripture teaches the headship of man and teaches that marriage is to be complementarian, nowhere does Scripture support or allow for a man to verbally or emotionally browbeat or abuse his wife or children or abuse them sexually, financially or physically. Scripture also does not allow men to physically discipline their wives or force her to stay locked in a room or never leave the house (or only do so with their very rare–if at all–permission); a woman is not a child and physical punishment at the hands of her husband is just plain wrong. As such it, like all abuse, is sin.

It is often very difficult for a church to recognize an abuser as such; abusive spouses are good at keeping up the façade that causes observers to believe the best about them (while often painting their spouses in unflattering ways) while at home, in private, their families get to see, and deal with, the painful truth of their abuse. This is why wives who muster the courage to speak of abuse must be believed. While it is true that anyone, even a true Christian, can sometimes lose their temper, act in unbecoming ways or even say or do things in a cruel fashion, conviction and repentance will mark the true but imperfect Christian from the abusing spouse who professes Christianity but isn’t a Christian. The problem is getting the church at large to see the difference.

Sadly, even if they do understand the difference,  churches frequently refuse to acknowledge that abuse can be going on in one of their families. Failure to believe abused wives is epidemic in our churches. Often it is easier to believe the abused spouse of being overly emotional or unforgiving or to tell her to go home and try to be more submissive to her husband than it is to force ourselves to confront the fact that there are abusers in our midst. Since the abused wife is most likely far more submissive than most Christian wives, telling her to be more submissive is not only not helpful, it also is enabling the husband to continue to sin against her and possibly bring her and the children further harm.

Additional problems arise when the spouse is believed but, through the very act of being believed, becomes a sore spot among members who might want to maintain a more traditional view to the surrounding community or even among themselves. There are places where abuse simply does not happen even as it is happening and can be proved.

Church members and leaders need to acknowledge that there is a very great chance that sooner or later you are going to have to deal with abusive persons in your church. Accept it and arm yourself to deal biblically with it. If a woman is telling a story of emotional, sexual or physical abuse about a man whom you trust and respect, do her and yourself a favor and at least look into it. It takes great courage for her to stand up and admit it to anyone because she might have to pay a very great price for her honesty. Don’t be guilty of killing the messenger when the messenger has already suffered so much.

Prayer For Those Growing Older (author unknown)

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself

that I am growing old.

Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking

I must say something on every subject

and on every occasion.

Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs.

Make me thoughtful but not moody, helpful but not bossy.

With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity

not to use it all, but Thou knowest, Lord,

that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details;

give me wings to get to the point.

Seal my lips on my aches and pains.

They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is

becoming sweeter as the years go by.

I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others’ pains,

but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but

for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when

my memory seems to clash with the memories of others.

Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally

I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet.

I do not want to be a saint–

some of them are so hard to live with–

but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.

Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places

and talents in unexpected people.

Give me the grace to tell them so.

Amen

Sweet Comfort by Ruth Bryan

During the past night I have again been called to
suffer much bodily affliction and very severe pain—
but was favored with such sweet comfort from my
precious Savior that it seemed light; nay, I thought
I could willingly bear a life of such suffering—if I
might constantly enjoy His presence!

Oh, how delightful was the hope of an eternity of
glory, and how sweet the thought that when life’s
journey was ended, the veil would be drawn aside,
and no cloud ever again intervene to hide from my
soul, even for one moment, the lovely countenance
of my adorable Jesus!

Ten thousand thanks to you, dearest Savior, for this
love-glimpse! I long for more tokens of Your love,
and thirst for more constant communion with You!

Such is my frailty, that I am ever prone to sin. Come,
precious Jesus! chase away these thick clouds, and
let me behold Your lovely countenance, and be so
captivated with Your charms, that I may never more
give my heart to earthly objects!

Giving with Grace

There are so many out there who are hurting financially and this time of the year can easily make it even more painful for them. Whether the fact that it is near Winter or that Christmas is near, many feel the pain of need more now than at other time. Many also feel more generous at this time of the year. It’s good the two overlap, isn’t it?

My family has, at times, known immense financial struggles and at times we have had the chance to occasionally be a blessing to others, so I have been on both the giving end and the receiving end of giving; I have experienced both the doing and the being done for. I love the rushing joy that comes with being the giver; the knowledge that you are a small part of blessing someone’s life. Also, I have appreciated the love that prompted the giving to me and to my family during times of deep need; the kindness that put food on the table, clothes on our backs and, at times, provided Christmas gifts for my family.

Not everyone is graced by God with being on both sides of the giving experience. If you haven’t been a giver, I would tell you to try it and experience the joy and the blessing that comes with it. If you haven’t been the give-ee, I would offer you a word of advice:

See the needy as individuals not as a cause or as numbers. And, please understand that not everyone who is in need is in need because of foolishness; some are but not all. For some, poverty has been brought on by an economic downturn. For others, their financial problems are the result of a family member’s illness that drove them to, and then beyond, what they could afford to pay. For still others, especially some women and children, the fault lies with a foolish husband or father who failed to plan, failed to act or who simply walked out; perhaps she, the mother, the wife, is doing all she can to make pennies stretch to cover what dollars are needed for.

There are reasons that only the good Lord knows that led someone down the pathway no one wants to travel. No matter what the cause of the need, the need remains the same. Need is cold and harsh and cruel. Need knows no racial boundaries, makes no distinction between country or city folks. It can strike anyone at anytime. Please keep these things in mind if you give to others this year.

Also, please remember the give-ee’s feelings for their feelings, like yours, can be tender and bruise from embarrassment easily. It can be downright embarrassing to be in need and many, I daresay most, who are  in need will not make their need openly obvious to others. It is here that we must carefully examine circumstances, listen, look and, most importantly, follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. When you are prompted by Him to give, please do so with grace. I have experienced the kindness of being given to by those who let me know the blessedness that they felt, the love of God that prompted them and the accepting was sweet and without embarrassment (and, I pray, that is the kind of giver I have been). I have also known giving that comes from the hands of those who have no knowledge of how to give or who made it feel like they had no choice (and thus we were a burden) and was left feeling humiliated and small and looked down upon.

Therefore, if you are blessed with the opportunity to be a giver this year, please do so with a smile and with joy and for the glory of God alone. The gift is only yours to give because it has been given to you by His hand.

If you are blessed by God to know need this year, please know that the need comes by His providence and is for your good; let your dependence be on God alone. Trust in Him and accept all blessings, all gifts from others, as if they flow from His hand alone–for they surely do. 

And remember, whichever side you are on, the giver or the give-ee, it is for your good and His glory that you have been brought to this. Thank the Lord for the privilege.

Trusting the Master of the Waves

Sometimes, when everything is going wrong in our lives, it feels as if we will sink beneath the waves if we are not careful. If WE are not careful. It sounds good, rather modern and self-helpy, but it’s wrong.

The issue isn’t whether or not WE are careful, or what we do, or how hard we try. The issue is, are we willing to acknowledge that, there are times when we can do nothing whatsoever to change things, to improve things, to heal things. Times in which WE can do nothing at all.

The issue at these times is, are we willing to look at the One Who can do something? Are we willing to look at the Lord of the waves rather than looking at the waves themselves?

Sometimes, when the waves crash the highest, it seems as if the waves will overwhelm us, will, in fact, cause us to lose sight of the Lord, leaving us alone and disoriented. That is when we must remember, the Lord really is Lord of the waves and that they, like everything and everyone else, bow to His command. Then we must rest in that trust.

God calls us to this kind of active, child-like, yet fierce, faith. To trust in Him even when nothing makes sense. To believe that all that He has said is true and all that He does is good. Even the waves, even as they seek to overwhelm us, are for our good and for His glory. He truly is Master of them and, because of that, we can trust in Him. The waves are never out of His control and we are never out of His sight. In this we can trust and because we can trust in this, we can rest securely. He is in control.

Pizza Soup

This is a wonderful, simple and inexpensive soup my family has recently come to enjoy. Very good for those on a tight budget.

• 1 pound ground beef, cooked (I suppose you could substitute other meats that you had on hand, I just haven’t tried)
• 2 cans (26 ounces each) condensed tomato soup, undiluted (or use 5 of the smaller cans)
• 6-1/2 cups water
• 3-1/2 cups spaghetti sauce
• 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning or pizza seasoning
• Rotini, cooked and drained beforehand (can substitute another kind of noodle or leave out altogether)
• 2 cups (8 ounces) shredded mozzarella cheese or cheddar cheese (again, I suppose American cheese or a Mexican blend would do fine)

Cook the ground beef until done, drain. Place it in large pot to which you will also add the soup, water, spaghetti sauce and seasonings. Stir well and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cook uncovered for 15 minutes. Add the cooked Rotini and the cheese during the last couple of minutes, stir. Top with Parmesan or additional shredded cheese if desired (we love it with parm). Makes 1 gallon.

Good with bread sticks or sandwiches.

ONE DAY AT A TIME By Annie Johnson Flint

One day at a time, with its failures and fears,
With its hurts and mistakes, with its weakness and tears,
With its portion of pain and its burden of care;
One day at a time we must meet and must bear.

One day at a time to be patient and strong;
To be calm under trial and sweet under wrong;
Then its toiling shall pass and its sorrow shall cease;
It shall darken and die, and the night shall bring peace.

One day at a time – but the day is so long,
And the heart is not brave, and the soul is not strong,
O Thou pitiful Christ, be Thou near all the way;
Give courage and patience and strength for the day.

Swift cometh His answer, so clear and so sweet;
“Yea, I will be with thee, thy troubles to meet;
I will not forget thee, nor fail thee, nor grieve;
I will not forsake thee; I never will leave.”

Not yesterday’s load we are called on to bear,
Nor the morrow’s uncertain and shadowy care;
Why should we look forward or back with dismay?
Our needs, as our mercies, are but for the day.

One day at a time, and the day is His day;
He hath numbered its hours, though they haste or delay.
His grace is sufficient; we walk not alone;
As the day, so the strength that He giveth His own.